Taking care of yourself
I am delighted to join in the discussion about advising and advanced doctoral learners.
When I was a mid-career Ph.D. learner at a bricks and mortar university, I found it was very helpful to have people to turn to with my questions. No, I did not have professional advisors like Capella University provides for its learners. Instead, I learned the importance of knowing which faculty and staff members, besides my mentor, were knowledgeable on policies or areas of importance for my successful navigation of a dissertation. I looked in many directions to get answers to my questions.
As a Ph.D. learner in the last decade, I certainly encountered many of the same issues that our Capella learners encounter as they attempt to complete their degrees. I was dealing with a parent who was ill, who had surgery, and who was then diagnosed with a terminal illness. I was also trying to balance my completion of coursework with the time I needed to spend working to put myself through the program.
One step I took to help me keep my coursework under control was to note deadlines for all assignments on my calendar as soon as I received each syllabus. And then I put my personal deadlines (anywhere from several days to a week earlier than the course deadlines) for each writing assignment on the calendar, depending upon the course. What worked best for me was to let each paper “marinate” for a few days before I went back to read it. Giving myself some distance allowed me to see where I had to be more clear, where I could tighten it up, where I needed to do more research and generally make my paper better. What works for you in trying to submit your best possible work? Do you plan to have writing assignments done before their due date so you can reread them, edit them and improve them? What strategies have you found that work for you?
One area where I was not as diligent as I should have been was in giving myself time off. Like many Capella learners, I was balancing coursework with a job and it was way too easy to let both of those demands consume my time. I was advised by family members, friends and my academic community to schedule time on the calendar for me to get away from it all. They encouraged me to actually block in time for a movie or a concert or a walk. I was trying to keep my “entertainment” costs way down, so when I did get away from my studies it was usually for a free concert or a free lecture or a long “free” walk. What do you do for YOU? Do you come up for air on occasion and just walk away to refresh and renew yourself? Are you able to step back from the work without feeling guilty? Are you taking care of yourself?
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September 23rd, 2008 at 5:47 am
Hi Constance:
I found what you wrote about doing assignments ahead of time, and letting them “marinate” for a few days quite interesting. I have been taking longer and longer to get my assignments done, which leaves little time for refining. I, too, am burdened and confronted by many challenges. My children, who are 22 and 15 take the greatest toll on me, since they do not keep up with their responsibilities. I am also burdened by occurrances at my job. These people try to make life difficult unnecessarily for the simplest of reasons. . I also worry about dinner and keeping the house clean. I am always feeling guilty. I am terribly afraid of having come so far and not attaining a doctorate. Thanks!
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Thanks for your comment, Yvette. Don’t feel guilty! Several of my Ph.D. colleagues had children of a similar age and at some point tmy colleagues just decided to look out for number one. If the kids wanted to eat, wanted clean clothes, wanted a clean house, then they could cook and clean themselves. I know my colleagues really went through a difficult process as they decided to rebel against family members who seemed to be sabotaging their efforts. I am afraid that some of us encouraged their rebellion. Having family support is so helpful, especially when you move into the dissertation phase of working on your own. The fact that some of my female colleagues had young children (ages 3-10) who were pitching in and helping out around the house actually served as a great example for those with older children to use. I have an idea of how much grief some of them took at home for awhile, but they slowly began to get their self confidence back as they refused to cross that line they had drawn in the sand.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Dr. Davis,
I too have onging challenges with my teenage son, my adult daughter and a mother who is having multiple health complications who stays positive just the same. She even keeps me on track and encourages me to treat myself. My educational journery has been a long one and I cannont beleive I am at this point! Keep us encouraged because sometimes this journey can be lonely.
Thanks for sharing
September 25th, 2008 at 6:28 am
Gisele,
Thanks for the comments. I, too, found my mother to be quite an inspiration even though some relatives thought I should quit my program and move home to take care of her because I was “only a student.” Thankfully, my siblings were not in that group because they were also cheering me on. The picture of me on graduation day, with a big smile, was something that she had near her side in her final months. She told me frequently during that period how happy and proud she was to see me in with that smile and in full regalia.
One other comment: I encourage learners who are about to begin their comprehensive exams to ask their teen or adult children for an early Christmas or holiday present. Set up a job jar with jobs they can do during those four weeks of intense research and writing. Learners know best what would help them most, whether it is doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry or yard work or just staying out of the way for a few weeks.
Good luck!