Comments on: Taking care of yourself http://blogs.capella.edu/askdoctoraladvising/2008/09/17/taking-care-of-yourself/ Preparing for and accomplishing a doctoral program at Capella Fri, 19 Mar 2010 04:38:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Constance Davis http://blogs.capella.edu/askdoctoraladvising/2008/09/17/taking-care-of-yourself/comment-page-1/#comment-84 Constance Davis Thu, 25 Sep 2008 13:28:24 +0000 http://blogs.capella.edu/askdoctoraladvising/?p=39#comment-84 Gisele, Thanks for the comments. I, too, found my mother to be quite an inspiration even though some relatives thought I should quit my program and move home to take care of her because I was "only a student." Thankfully, my siblings were not in that group because they were also cheering me on. The picture of me on graduation day, with a big smile, was something that she had near her side in her final months. She told me frequently during that period how happy and proud she was to see me in with that smile and in full regalia. One other comment: I encourage learners who are about to begin their comprehensive exams to ask their teen or adult children for an early Christmas or holiday present. Set up a job jar with jobs they can do during those four weeks of intense research and writing. Learners know best what would help them most, whether it is doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry or yard work or just staying out of the way for a few weeks. Good luck! Gisele,

Thanks for the comments. I, too, found my mother to be quite an inspiration even though some relatives thought I should quit my program and move home to take care of her because I was “only a student.” Thankfully, my siblings were not in that group because they were also cheering me on. The picture of me on graduation day, with a big smile, was something that she had near her side in her final months. She told me frequently during that period how happy and proud she was to see me in with that smile and in full regalia.

One other comment: I encourage learners who are about to begin their comprehensive exams to ask their teen or adult children for an early Christmas or holiday present. Set up a job jar with jobs they can do during those four weeks of intense research and writing. Learners know best what would help them most, whether it is doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry or yard work or just staying out of the way for a few weeks.

Good luck!

]]> By: Gisele B. Bell http://blogs.capella.edu/askdoctoraladvising/2008/09/17/taking-care-of-yourself/comment-page-1/#comment-83 Gisele B. Bell Wed, 24 Sep 2008 23:35:00 +0000 http://blogs.capella.edu/askdoctoraladvising/?p=39#comment-83 Dr. Davis, I too have onging challenges with my teenage son, my adult daughter and a mother who is having multiple health complications who stays positive just the same. She even keeps me on track and encourages me to treat myself. My educational journery has been a long one and I cannont beleive I am at this point! Keep us encouraged because sometimes this journey can be lonely. Thanks for sharing Dr. Davis,
I too have onging challenges with my teenage son, my adult daughter and a mother who is having multiple health complications who stays positive just the same. She even keeps me on track and encourages me to treat myself. My educational journery has been a long one and I cannont beleive I am at this point! Keep us encouraged because sometimes this journey can be lonely.
Thanks for sharing

]]> By: Constance Davis http://blogs.capella.edu/askdoctoraladvising/2008/09/17/taking-care-of-yourself/comment-page-1/#comment-81 Constance Davis Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:58:09 +0000 http://blogs.capella.edu/askdoctoraladvising/?p=39#comment-81 Thanks for your comment, Yvette. Don't feel guilty! Several of my Ph.D. colleagues had children of a similar age and at some point tmy colleagues just decided to look out for number one. If the kids wanted to eat, wanted clean clothes, wanted a clean house, then they could cook and clean themselves. I know my colleagues really went through a difficult process as they decided to rebel against family members who seemed to be sabotaging their efforts. I am afraid that some of us encouraged their rebellion. Having family support is so helpful, especially when you move into the dissertation phase of working on your own. The fact that some of my female colleagues had young children (ages 3-10) who were pitching in and helping out around the house actually served as a great example for those with older children to use. I have an idea of how much grief some of them took at home for awhile, but they slowly began to get their self confidence back as they refused to cross that line they had drawn in the sand. Thanks for your comment, Yvette. Don’t feel guilty! Several of my Ph.D. colleagues had children of a similar age and at some point tmy colleagues just decided to look out for number one. If the kids wanted to eat, wanted clean clothes, wanted a clean house, then they could cook and clean themselves. I know my colleagues really went through a difficult process as they decided to rebel against family members who seemed to be sabotaging their efforts. I am afraid that some of us encouraged their rebellion. Having family support is so helpful, especially when you move into the dissertation phase of working on your own. The fact that some of my female colleagues had young children (ages 3-10) who were pitching in and helping out around the house actually served as a great example for those with older children to use. I have an idea of how much grief some of them took at home for awhile, but they slowly began to get their self confidence back as they refused to cross that line they had drawn in the sand.

]]> By: Yvette Brebnor http://blogs.capella.edu/askdoctoraladvising/2008/09/17/taking-care-of-yourself/comment-page-1/#comment-79 Yvette Brebnor Tue, 23 Sep 2008 12:47:54 +0000 http://blogs.capella.edu/askdoctoraladvising/?p=39#comment-79 Hi Constance: I found what you wrote about doing assignments ahead of time, and letting them "marinate" for a few days quite interesting. I have been taking longer and longer to get my assignments done, which leaves little time for refining. I, too, am burdened and confronted by many challenges. My children, who are 22 and 15 take the greatest toll on me, since they do not keep up with their responsibilities. I am also burdened by occurrances at my job. These people try to make life difficult unnecessarily for the simplest of reasons. . I also worry about dinner and keeping the house clean. I am always feeling guilty. I am terribly afraid of having come so far and not attaining a doctorate. Thanks! Hi Constance:
I found what you wrote about doing assignments ahead of time, and letting them “marinate” for a few days quite interesting. I have been taking longer and longer to get my assignments done, which leaves little time for refining. I, too, am burdened and confronted by many challenges. My children, who are 22 and 15 take the greatest toll on me, since they do not keep up with their responsibilities. I am also burdened by occurrances at my job. These people try to make life difficult unnecessarily for the simplest of reasons. . I also worry about dinner and keeping the house clean. I am always feeling guilty. I am terribly afraid of having come so far and not attaining a doctorate. Thanks!

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