While my comment here is far removed in time from your original post, my guess is others review the “archives,” as I am doing now.

One thing I often tell my patients is, “Be wary of expecting any one person to meet all your wants and needs.” Even if they are all legitimate, there will not likely be one person who is the end-all, be-all, even a spouse or significant other.

With respect to the doctoral mentor/chair individuals may need to assess their own needs for guidance and support, as well as their own personality and communication styles vis-à-vis their mentor. It would grand if all mentor–protégé relationships were a good fit, but this may not be the case.

Some of the things I have done to fill my own needs are avail myself to an ABD email list, participate in a dissertation coaching group, set up a weekly conference call with other ABD-ers, and so forth. This may not be the ideal scenario. It has helped me significantly. Perhaps these ideas will help others.

I firmly believe that a large piece of developing as a strong professional communicator is that of completely objective self-assessment: can I look at myself (skills, attributes, weaknesses, etc) with no emotional component (i.e. objectively)? If I cannot i may struggle with the feedback I receive from many aspects of life. Further, if I can identify this as a challenge area for myself, how can I turn it into a strength? The ability to reflect, thus, becomes key in the pursuit of an advanced degree.

Thanks for sharing your experiences!