Ask Doctoral Advising

People say ‘I could never run a marathon’  My response is ‘you have to train and build over time.  Of course, you can’t and shouldn’t run 26.2 without preparing’ 

Then the second response is ‘I don’t have time’ 

Like your health, your academics requires selfishness. 
If you don’t take care of your health now, your quality of life may be compromised later, and impact your family in ways you don’t want.  And by exercising you are being a role model for family.

I’ve seen runners a mile before the finsih, looking miserable, cramping, and hardly able to move forward.  I don’t want to look like that so I am going to prepare as best I can to reduce the chances of that happening. I am committed to training.

Same with your PhD program.  Being selfish now will help you accomplish your academic goals. And it will demonstrate to your family and friends that you value education.

How do you balance selfish with the other components of your life?
Only you can make those decisions, but, here are some ideas.

Identify your goal.  Articulate the reasons why.  Why do you want to achieve that goal? Write out the goals ,  the reasons and post them where you can see them every day.  Revisit and re-write as needed.

List the components in your life? 
Work, family, exercise.

What are your have to’s? 
Academics is on that list, by the way.

Are there any sub-components that can be set aside for the time you are immersed in your academics? 

Talk with your manager about your work load. Don’t say yes to new projects without letting go of another.  

Know your boundaries and learn to say no.

Allow someone else to shine in working with that teen/church group. 

Have the family help with the responsibilities around the house: cooking and cleaning (and allow that they may do it differently than you).

Do you have someone to walk through the process with you, someone you are accountable to?  To walk out the door at 5 pm for that run on Monday Wednesday Thursday and 8 am Saturday?

To be selfish for your academics is to give of yourself in all other areas of your life, now and in the future.

Thanks to Melissa and Timothy for the inspiration for this post.