The purpose of a doctorate is truly an interesting subject. As a higher education administrator in the community college setting, there are times when I find it difficult to articulate the answer. As one who has shied away from joining sororities and clubs whose purpose was to define identity or provide a sense of belonging, the joining of a “so –called” elite group of individuals who have earned the doctorate is different and at times an exercise that may even be unnecessary.

However, my journey began over a year ago when I joined this program and began to experience several self-awakenings that are exciting and quite stimulating. This program has meant really learning the history, culture and theories behind the actions, attitudes and policies in higher education that I thought I knew. I learned to crave the research involved in discovering the answers to inquiries only to realize there is only so much time that can be spent and my time must be applied wisely. This journey has infused in me a desire to publish, become an entrepreneur, or to simply hit the floor most mornings with a renewed optimism and excitement about endless possibilities.

Moreover, I realize that some may use their self-awakening to seize other opportunities, internalize the spirituality and really become change agents and the degree completion itself may not mean success or failure. As stated earlier, success is individually defined. My personal worry is that I may be one of those people. My “need” for a PhD may not be strong enough to allow me to complete but that self-realization encourages me to step up my game to ensure that I do not fall prey to my own stupidity. Following the sacrifices made in time and money, social deferrals in lieu of completing projects and the discoveries and energies used in critical writing and applied research, I need to disavow this internal musing against group identity and wholeheartedly join the 2% of persons who have persevered to completion. At any rate, I appreciate the opportunity this blog has given me to express myself. Do you believe my perspective will change as I complete my last five classes before dissertation?

As for the content, I didn’t want to respond and subsequently alter the course of your writing. I was very curious about what you would say, and where this would go. However, two aspects of this posting has made me change my mind. First, you mentioned at one point that a conversation we had somehow influenced these thoughts. Supporting that even further, your initial post was started on my birthday, so perhaps there is a gift here.

Second, you ended your last message by asking me a question, so it is only appropriae to follow through. Before I answer that question, it is important to clarify my position. You clearly have a vast amount of experience in the field of doctoral advising. This includes a significant amount of knowledge, and perhaps more importantly, personal work with who knows how many doctoral learners. Yes, you have a very rich and deep reservoir from which to draw. Combined with your intellectual abilities, and your obvious commitment to your profession and helping others, you can easily be considered an expert in this field.

In contrast, I only have my own experience as a doctora learner currently working on the disseration. Therefore, I always attempt to regulate any statements so they pertain only to my experience. Although some of this experience may be common, and other aspects may be shared by others, it is only my very limited and personal experience. I guess one may even say that it is not generlaizable. My experrience is limited to my disseration with one University, one mentor, and one committee. Clearly, I cannot speak to the doctoral journey as a global topic, or engage with you on such topics in a generalized manner. So, I do hope you continue at some point to share more of your fine thoughts on this topic as you have in many of your other topics.

Now for my response. You asked, “what is the purpose of the doctorate?” and stated “mission success is the learner who experiences a moment of self-awakeninig”.

As for the first question, I truly do not know. I have become convinced that the doctoral journey is unique to each traveler, and do not state that lightly. I truly believe that because this project, the dissertation, requires so many different skills and takes an extended peiod of time to complete, each one is similar to a snowflake. Lately, I have considered the relationship each person has with their dissertation and that has been very telling when others share their experience.

As for the moment of self-awakening, now you have engaged my personal experience. Because you enjoy movies, perhaps you will appreciate this even more. In Sleepless in Seattle, someone asks Tom Hanks what he loved about his wife. He responded by first repeating the question in a rather joking manner. He laughed thet there was not ONE THING he loved about her, but rather all the thousands of little things she did and how she did them.

A moment of self-awakeniing, No, too many self-awkenings to count. Unless there is ONE that occurs later in this journey that supersedes all the others, it a series of transformations. For me at least.

As for the Michael Fox show, I just watched that the other evening. The part that has stayed with me the most was the research involving optimists, pessimists, the game of darts, and how they respond to different messages. At various points, in this extended journey my relationship with the dissertation has taken on many different tones. I’m thankful you have been there, and that we have had the opportunity to develop an advisor/learner relationship so we could laugh about some of the most aggravating situations. Ahh yes, there must be a recognition of the insanity in such intellectual pursuits when things that seem so monumental are put into perspective and immediately become so trivial when viewed against the larger landscape.

Thank you for the opportunity to ramble. I am beginning to hear stories about what individuals expereince emotionally after they complete their dissertation. It sounds like we should get together to discuss the experience and understand its meaning like astronauts or divers who used to have sit in a decompression chamber after returning to the surface of the earth.

Summary:
I don’t know what this means to me anymore, which must mean it truly is transformational. I do know there are periods when, had I known ahead of time how I would be responding to this experience at various periods of the disseration, I would not have taken this journey. So maybe it is spiritual. Someone once remarked, that a calling takes you somewhere you did not expect, and if you had known what it would take to get there, you would not have gone.

I guess the optimist and the pessimist will each react differently to that statement.

I joke with acquaintences who want to commend me on doing this, even though they are probably thinking to themselves what an idiot I am. I tell them that the school reminds us that less than 2% of the poplualtion holds a PH.D., and on many occasions, I realized that’s because the other 98% has the common sense to stay away.

You da man Jon! I’m just trying to maximize the enjoyment of exercising my skills and talents without being undermined too severely by my academic weaknesses.

Well, now I have dominated this thread. Looking forward to reading more about your thoughts because they really do shape meaning in a postive way.

All the Best,
Mike

I appreciate your taking the time to engage the dialogue. Your perspective and experience is an invaluable contribution and demonstrated so well in your response here.

I’ve admittedly been showing great self-restraint not to respond immediately. After taking some time to reflect on your questions and re-reading my own post, I believe you have hit on one of those “power of PhD” facets – the power of this degree to define one’s identity. Having worked with many “ABD’s,” I’ll share, some of the greatest successes come from those who voluntary discover in themselves that the doctorate isn’t needed to achieve their self-discovery (academic or otherwise.) And counter, I have worked with many PhD graduates who have truly failed.

I personally cannot access success as equal that of program completion or failure as non-completion. If we accept that, clearly Academia and doctoral attrition has lost the soul and purpose.

My colleagues have posted many poetic entries relevant to this topic, does the very fact that we attach success and failure to ourselves in this experience not a further confirmation of just how powerful this degree is?

So let me continue the dialogue, Mike, what is the purpose of the doctorate? Mission success for me is the learner who experiences a moment of self-awakening. Yourself?
Jon

I look forward to your series, and I don’t want to influence the course at this time. However, I will be curious to see how we will evaluate succeed and fail in your statement. “Looking at the high attrition, why is it that some try and succeed, where many fail?”

Did all actually “fail” meaning what? How did they fail? Is it possible some succeeded in magnanimous ways as they emerged from apparent failure by not continuing their efforts on this path.

Similarly, what does it mean to succeed in this pursuit, and what was the end result or their contribution?

There is no doubt that education is powerful and transformational. However, using the terms succeed and fail as they pertain to academic world may first need to be defined on a broader scale.

Looking forward to your series.