Singing Milestone 3 Completion Blues and Maintaining an Orchestrated Balanced Life
by Lori Schroeder | November 19, 2010
I wrote the following to an advisee who shared she was experiencing “a procrastination problem with my literature review.” She wrote, “I am working so much, that I try to spend my spare time with my family, hence the inability to concentrate on the literature.”
Here’s my response, drawn from my own experience in the Capella University doctoral program:
Two milestones down. Fourteen to go. You can do it.
The hardest milestone is the third. Mentor approval of your proposal—Chapters 1, 2, and 3.
It is very difficult to manage work and family and dissertation writing. I found Chapter 2, the review of literature, took the longest to complete. It was interesting and fun, but it was very time consuming. Writing Chapter 2 felt gruelingly long.
I committed the weekends to reading and writing. Work ranged anywhere from 6–14 hours on Saturdays and Sundays. Weekdays I spent with my family when I wasn’t working, teaching, or grading papers. I frankly don’t know how I managed, but my daughter was 18 and a senior in high school when I passed my comps and began the dissertation. She was older and pretty independent. Then, she went to college. So my maternal guilt monitor was not real barky. I got lucky.
I figured, and I believe it today, that if I just toughed it out and worked my derriere off, the sooner I’d be done. And it took me two years to write the dissertation and earn the degree.
The harder you work now suggests the sooner you’ll be finished and can return to a more balanced life. Right now, balance is not easy to obtain and move forward on dissertation writing. It’s just the way of the doctoral candidate.
Family first, though—especially when you have a sense that things are off and that your kids are missing you. Spouse or partner, too.
The PhD journey is one of sacrifice—for all people—including family, friends, students, and colleagues. Do not be deflected from your course.
Remember to take care of yourself, too.
2 Responses to "Singing Milestone 3 Completion Blues and Maintaining an Orchestrated Balanced Life"
Karen Davis-Johnson says:
Just beginning this journey…thanks so much for this posting.
Sheila K. Middlebrook says:
This is excellent advise for which I am truly grateful.
Thank you for taking the time to post.